Thursday, April 2, 2009


NASA announced yesterday that Oprah Winfrey apparently has turned into a Dark Nebula. NASA is baffled at how it has happened, however hogie consumption is suspected.

The following Oprah Nebula situation is explained by Larko Sparlaticus, a renowned Nebula expert:

'In a nutshell, Nebulae, are dusty and gaseous clouds in outer space, or in large magazine subscriptions. Some are stellar nurseries, they create new stars from the remains of old stars. In Oprah's case, it seems she has created a buffet of ... well, food nurseries out of leftovers from previous ... er, food nurseries. Hey, I am only a scientist... and, uh, pass the ketchup willya? This particular Oprah 'Buffet Nebula' is particularly tasty.'


Hollywood has announced Oprah will not lose their support, just because she has turned into a monster amount of gas that absorbs everything around her. In fact, they are working on a new movie project with Oprah in the lead role 'THE COLOR PURPLE PEOPLE EATER'.

Oprah, who just became available for comment since exploding onto the upper stratosphere of time and space (and condiments) ... had this comment. 'I really don't like the photo's that HUBBLE space telescope has taken of me.. does this asteroid make me look fat?.. anyway, I really like the shape of the Hubble, with the right amount of peanut butter, that thing, with a couple of margaritas and the right company, could be just what the doctor ordered. BELCH'

Hide the children, and the groceries, Oprah is headed towards Tokyo!!!! CHRIST!


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