Tuesday, February 17, 2009

BIGFOOT SIGHTING!


MY BAD, my wife was just watching Oprah.

Has anyone noticed how rabid the Oprah fans are? O fans are, for the most part, women. Fat women. Really fat women. Some of the women in O's audience literally have to be pushed into the studio doors, individually fitted for their seats. Once there, they wait for their gOd to give them a car, or at least a hogie, with cheese. The original point is there however... no matter how fat O fans are, they will eat and drive to get to her studio. O equates YUM.

As it turns out, O is big again. Or as we should really say, Re-large. She has lost and gained more weight than ... Oprah Winfrey.

As far as Cultural Icons go, pound for pound she is the best! No, really. PASS THE KETCHUP.

Her magazine - aptly titled 'O' - always has her on the front. Which is good for the ink suppliers. In fact, Oprah has gained so much weight, the shipping and handling of her magazine recently went UP. I was told recently that O magazine had a CENTERFOLD. I rushed to the magazine and opened it up, only to find that it was just the only way they could get a total shot of Oprah into the magazine. It was funny the photo had a map legend at the bottom right 'One Mile equals One Mile.' AND it was just a centerfold photo of her head. With food sticking out of her mouth.

Oprah was very excited when Barak Obama became president. She had campaigned for him, she had him on her show. She almost put him on the cover of her magazine O. Of course everyone was fairly upset when Oprah accidently ate Barak Obama. She explained, ‘I couldn’t help myself. He just looked so tasty, and I hadn’t anything to eat for at least 2 hours.’ When further questioned, she admitted, 'Barak tasted like chicken, but not the nasty kind you buy ‘at Wal Mart.’


UNCLE


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